Paula
(Sketched during the sermon this past Sunday at church.)
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have seriously neglected to keep up my skills as an artist. No, to be more acurate, I have never really made much effort to work on them. I suppose that sounds odd, particularly since I’ve been illustrating for 15 years, but I see it as a different type of training and skill building, which certainly applies to my illustrating.
The blame lies squarely on my shoulders, though, in all honesty, I just hadn’t given it much thought over the years…until lately. I always just saw myself as something like a cartoonist, or someone who does “this” type of art (cartoons and what-not) but not “that” type (everything else). And it’s not that I can’t draw what I see. I thought my ability to draw figures in life drawing classes, etc. were very good. I do possess the basic building blocks of ability to do art of that nature, but I never pursued it. In high school, though my concentration was cartooning, I wanted to learn to draw what I saw with skill. We lived next door to one of the big-wig art profs at the local university. I must have voiced my desires enough to my mom, because I recall having a short discussion with this prof (which she arranged), saying something like, “I want to learn to draw; I want to be able to draw an egg, as it looks, perfectly. Who can teach me to do that?”. (An egg? I know that’s what I was thinking, as I can still see the visual picture I had back then when I spoke to him.) Now, perhaps I’m getting my past events out of order, but I believe he suggested taking painting lessons from another professor at the local junior college. I signed up and went to his studio for instructions on painting. This instructor told me to get a photo I wanted to paint and then proceeded to show me how to simulate leaves by using this particular brush and dabbing it a certain way. Something in me didn’t gel with this. I wanted to learn to draw what I saw. I had a few more lessons with him, then dropped it. I still don’t know if it was me or him or the style or what. I just know I felt disappointed and quit.
So back to honing art skills. Yes, somewhere along the line, I have gotten the impression that I don’t draw…draw what I see; draw what is real; draw/paint–draw! Lately, as I’ve been looking at the blogs of such people out there as Wally Torta, Julie’s Journal, Karen Winters, Dan Gregory’s Everyday Matters, and Cindy Woods at Learning Daily (just to name a few), and I’m so enamoured with what I see produced…from just taking their sketchpads out and about and drawing what’s around them. And at first I said to myself, “I wish I could draw like that.” and “I can’t/don’t draw like that.” But I want to draw…like that. I want to be a well-rounded artist and take the time and energy to strengthen and grow in some much neglected and needed skills. I would like drawing to be an enjoyable time, rather than a hyper-critique of every stroke and line I make. I want to draw for drawing’s sake. And I still want to learn to draw what I see.
The emotional baggage is the hardest hump to over-come. I feel the tension in my gut every time I think to move in this direction. The discomfort of taking my sketchpad outside to sit and draw objects and people is sometimes too much of a frustration. At one point in time I would have considered this to be an indication that I’m not truly an artist, that I don’t have the true passion of an artist for I wouldn’t feel this way. Presently, I see it more as simply wrestling with my personal makeup to pursue goals and interests rather than an indication of *true* vocation and purpose. It’s unfortunate that I don’t find myself panting to draw, but that’s okay at the moment. I hope to feel progressively so as I work through my anxieties and fears.
I would just do what you’re intrested in artistically for the most part. Just because you don’t sketch a lot doesn’t mean you aren’t a true artist. You just don’t like the sketching. That’s not any different from saying, “I don’t like using watercolors, or pastels.”
I don’t sketch a whole lot either because I haven’t been drawn to it (no pun intended) lately, and plus that’s what I did my whole life. I have mountains of old sketchbooks. I wanna do something different now.
I do intend on practicing my figure drawing whether I like it or not though because it’s a specific skill I want to be extra good at, but that’s about it. I’m also going to get some watercolor books to learn some new techniques too. Push yourself a little to learn new things if that’s what you’re interested in, but pushing too hard into something that’s not interesting or inspiring can snuff out the flow of creativity pretty quickly.
Get rid of that nasty artist’s guilt, life’s too short.
Fox is absolutely right in my mind. You should do what you love doing or what what you want to do.
I think the word Artist should be banned, as it is a vague non descript term that covers a multitude of sins and says nothing at the same time, but once said it also seems to have the inevitable link that as an artist, if you are a serious artist then you will be producing multitudes of sketchbooks full of glorious sketches and studies and spend the rest of your time wearing an oil covered painting smock doing something profound.
At the end of the day it is very different, there are graphic designers, leisure painters, technical illustrators, humorous illustrators, cartoonists, painters etc etc. Artist is a much misused term as well I feel, as someone who paints at home for pleasure is termed an artist, well if someone played football for fun in the park no one would call them a footballer, or being able to do an oil change on a car doesn’t make someone a mechanic.
And within the ‘specialist areas’ people again specialise. Painter A (normally called a fine artist) paints wonderful landscapes but can’t paint porttraits for toffee, Painter B paints wonderful still lifes but couldn’t paint an abstract for toffee.
Everyone has a natural bent, a draw to a disciplin, an area that they really enjoy and/or excel at.
If someone is a ‘portrait painter’ then that is what they are, and there shouldn’t be any guilt trip for not doing other ‘arty’ things as that is their passion and their skill. If they want to do other things for enjoyment great, but it certainly shouldn’t be because of the ascociation and possible guilt that that basically meaningless, indescript and heavy word ‘Artist’ brings. Now someone being a portrait painter doesn’t preclude them from doing other things or being good at other things but I do think it helps to think in terms of the main skillset, the specialism where the main talent and enjoyment exists as then the ‘I don’t do this or that guilt trip can be left behind.
Fox is right, no artists guilt (as the word artist no longer exists
) and just do what you love to do or really want to do.
I agree with the above comments…just do what you love without any guilt. I also have the same concerns being an illustrator however when i do a drawing out in nature or a building when travelling and people see it on my blog they say “WOW…i didn’t know you could draw realistically”. Well i can but it’s not as much fun as doing whimsical illustrations. It’s good to stretch ourselves but also good to do what we love.
Cheers,
Violette
Well, interesting replies, indeed. And not at all what I expected.
I do appreciate the feedback, of course, and I wanted to hear it otherwise I wouldn’t have posted the entry. The posts where I reveal things I’m thinking and contemplating about art and illustration aren’t easy for me to discuss. They’re areas of vulnerability of which I’m very sensitive, so thanks for taking the time to read and respond, you guys.
I see that all of you honed in on my imbedded perceptions of what it means to be a good artist, or an artist in general. You’re right, Charlie. What does the word “artist” mean? In my posting, I sort of revealed a concept of what and ‘artist’ does, if they’re a true artist. I was thinking of one whose vocation is an artist, as compared to one whose vocation is a lawyer, doctor, banker, accountant, etc. Meaning, someone who earns their living from their craft. Yet, unlike these other vocations, there aren’t clear-cut standards/rules that regulate it’s practice. It seems to be much more difficult to apply the ‘artist’ label (though the IRS could define it for us, I’ll bet!). Given that there are no hard standards for being an ‘artist’, the qualifications are arbitary. When I wrote my posting, I gave a particular expectation; you guys challenged it. I agree and recant on that particular, if that’s what I was indeed saying. One doesn’t have to produce multitudes of sketches or draw realistically to be an artist; and I don’t believe I meant to say that. I do, however, think it’s beneficial to work on one’s skills in whatever field one is in, and I believe that’s where I’m coming from. I was voicing my lack and lethargy to do this and seeing my need to set time aside to work on these things. Drawing and sketching was part of that. I can see I didn’t articulate that very well and dragged in my emotional gobbledy-gook.
So, yes, I WOULD like to enjoy sketching and drawing from life. Part of my dilemna is that I seem to have to push through emotional gunk to move forward in anything I may want to tackle, whether it’s playing a musical instrument, playing a sport, etc., etc.. Given that, sometimes it’s hard for me to discern what the emotional hurdles are about, whether they’re because I’m not really interested in doing something and I’m making myself do it anyway, or if it’s a fear of failure (or a related fear). I didn’t discuss that in my posting so no one would know that’s a part of the anxiety. In this case, I think it’s fear-related, and that’s something I want to overcome. I don’t want that to rule me. There are many times when doing my illustration work feels too frustrating, when I lack the passion for it, when I feel terribly inadequate, when I simply do not enjoy what I’m doing. So I don’t tend to use ‘enjoyment’ as a criterion for my decision making. Discomfort, frustration, and anxiety aren’t emotions I can really rely on.
A lengthy reply, I know. I hope that helps to explain a bit more and, again, thank you for all who commented on my posting. It truly helps me to think and consider these things, and that’s what makes this exchange so valuable.
it’s so odd for me to see my name on your list, ’cause gotta tell you, up until a few months ago, I also never kept a sketchbook. It’s something I’ve just begun to do, inspired under the same circumstances you describe, seeing the work of others on their blogs and realizing that this is a skill I lack and should probably develop. I’m finding it to be fun most of the time but also scary (doodling people in public) and frustrating (why won’t people hold still !). I think that your “cartoonish” drawings of events in your life (barking dogs, flying bugs, yard sale) is also a wonderful skill, I love those drawings, the energy and humor of them, also something I’ve never thought about doing, you’ve inspired another way of “looking” for me to explore !
Cin: Yes, I saw somewhere in your blog that you just recently took up sketching, and I’m just marveled at what you produce. I love your sketches as well as your illustrations (same to the previous 3 ommentors). Thanks for your comments on my cartoonish sketches of life and I’m pleased to hear that they’ve been an inspiration to you to some degree (looking forward to what you do with that).
Yes, I’m inspired and desirous to sketch and draw–something different than what I’ve been doing all my life (e.g. Fox/Paige). I’m just experiencing an emotional spasm over the idea, so that’s the bulk of what I meant to express. I seem to have ended up attaching that to cultural and personal expectations concerning what is a ‘true’ artist, as was pointed out by art blogging friends. I didn’t make distinctions and I now have more clarity and balance as to what I’d like to do, thanks to you guys. Merci again.
I was totally where you are now emotionally before I started sketching. I really am learning that you don’t have to be perfect when you sketch and it has helped me realize that. My big obstacle has always been fear of failing (or not being “perfect”). But sketching from life has really helped me gain confidence and has kind of “given me permission” to loosen up. Keep it up and you’ll start to look forward to it. I’m still not at the point where I post a lot of sketches on my blog, but I am working toward that. I love looking at others. It’s interesting to me that someone who has been illustratiing for 15 years can feel the same way I did – I thought it was because I really haven’t illustrated in over 15 years (I have been concentrating on graphic design). When I see your illustrations, I would never think you have a confidence problem – they are wonderful! Keep up the sketching an know that you are not alone!
Lynn: Thanks for your comments and encouragement! I think many people feel like I do pertaining to a variety of endevours. It’s good to hear you identify with what I’m feeling (I know all did) about sketching and really good to know you’ve become more comfortable with sketching yourself. That’s what I anticipate will happen for me.
I’m discovering that it’s better for me to start out doing this in private vs a public area. I feel VERY self-conscience as it is and it is amplified when others are around.
A confidence problem…? Moi..?
I really like what paige said.
Unfortunatley, I’m still in that phase where I don’t feel like a “true” artist because I’m not sketching every chance I get. I presume that a real artist does and then I get into the negative self talk about being a “hack”!
But don’t get me started on the word “artist”. I’ve never felt comfortable with that label. I would correct people and say, “Oh no, I’m not an artist- just someone who likes to draw.”
My biggest hurdle right now is creating MORE OFTEN. I look at others and think, “man, they are so prolific, they always have fresh art to show on their blog. I wish I did that!” (Your blog included Paula!)
I think we all compare ourselves too much to eachother. I know I do. I look at the blogs and think, “wow, they really have their finger on the pulse. I need to get my rear in gear!” hhahaha
I hope you enjoy the sketching, I imagine you will!
Roz: Charlie had a point in that he takes issue with the definition of ‘artist’. Like so many words, we have to now ask, “What do you mean by ‘artist’?” Most of the time when I use it, I’m defining it as a profession. But of course it has a much broader meaning, too. And when people say to me, “Are you an artist?”, I say, “Yes….Well, I’m an ‘illustrator’.” Do we all have hang-ups on the term? Everyone but Daniel Webster, perhaps.
I’m not prolific so please don’t go putting me in that category. : ) You do have a lot more going on in your life what with having kids, etc. If you balance that with what you DO do, you should be very pleased. That you want to do more is great, and I’d hope you wouldn’t be too hard on yourself that you don’t produce more (pot-kettle!)
I do the same with the blog-looking. It’s like a big online art studio! And, yeah, I get to feeling like I don’t stack up, then days when I’m neutral. Even fewer days when I feel I’m running with the pack! Ah well…
First of all, your drawings are amazing! I love the energy and life you give to your work. You make it look so easy. And I’m happy to have discovered your blog and look forward to seeing you post some of your sketches.
The whole discussion about the “Artist” label is something I haven’t given much thought to, but in reading your posts I realize that I do have some issues with that, myself. Most of the time, I’ll describe myself as an “Illustrator” (if someone asks) but more often than NOT, I say I’m a doodler. Why label myself as a doodler??? Does it lessen the expectations of what I allow from myself? Hmmm. something I need to think about more.
As well, I’m petrified of sketching from life…especially in public. And that’s really only because I’m afraid that whatever comes out of my pen or pencil will not at all be what I think I should be able to do. Or WANT to be able to do. At least, at home when I draw what I’m comfortable drawing… I can loosen up and not worry so much. But, I’m also drawing what I KNOW. I’ve been meaning to start going back to life drawing classes for about a year now…and that is frightening…as I know my work will be quite off for awhile. That said, I know it will also improve steadily once I get myself there and start doing it. The same can be said from just doing some daily sketching that is not necessarily related to my normal “doodling”. Someone said it in an earlier post…and I think it is so true: We just need to learn to loosen up and not worry so much about failing.
Over the past couple months I’ve been working under an amazing artist as a character designer. Almost daily, -ok…every single day- I’ve been finding myself in angst over the fact that I cannot draw as well as he does.
I send in my work, squeamishly…praying that I did an OK job but knowing full well that I did not meet my own expectations. In turn, he says he loves what I bring to the table…because I simplify the characters with shape, etc. So, I guess…in the long run, all this fear, all this searching, all this contemplating what is is to be an “artist” is closely tied to what we expect from ourselves and wanting, so badly, not to fail. But we all have strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps, being an “artist” means something more like “constantly looking, learning and interpreting”
I thank you for posting on this topic. Not only does it make me feel better to know that I’m not alone with these internal struggles. I see in re-reading my post, that I still have a lot to figure out but I am going to sketch something today and I’m going to be willing to fail!!
Wishing you all happy sketch-time!
Paige P. the other Paige): Wow! Well, I know that what you just poured out is what the majority of us feel, either occasionally or all the time, concerning being creative/making art. Oh, geez…Why stop there? How ’bout just trying to succeed at anything? And I think you hit the nail on the key issue: Fear of failure. That’s it! The fear of not being successful. What everyone’s been pointing out in one way or another is that we need to examine the standard we’re setting up for ourself: Is it a legitament standard? If not, then what? If yes, then what? With the added bonus of getting our emotions to line up with the truth of the matter. So the wrestling’s good…if we come to healthy conclusions.
I applaud your considerationg to take a life drawing class. And I REALLY relate to your fear (in fact, ALL the fears you mentioned). And as you said (or attributed to someone else saying) we have to learn to allow ourselves to relax and not angst out over fear of failing. Note: LEARN. I guess that means experiencing and embrasing the anxiety and fear and then working through it. Learning means a process of change/growth is taking place so we’re doing well to recognize and turn from berating of ourselves (for feeling angst and fear), and changing our way of thinking to a more positive and constructive pattern of thought. So rather than feel fearful and say, “I’m going to fail and that’s terrible!”, we should say, “I’m afraid, yes, but I’ll examine why and work through this so I can move forward.” or something like that. Well, at least that’s the ideal.
Thanks SO much for sharing your feelings with me/us! I say that to all who made comments–all were appreciated! I was apprehensive about the post in the first place but I’m glad to have heard from folks on the matter and know I’m not alone.
And thank you, Paula…for the great reply back!! For me, reading through this topic, sharing my thoughts on the matter, etc…is a great step forward. Although I’ve been aware of my fears for awhile, I’ve not really put them to paper (keypad) so perhaps some of this purging has been helpful. I think it has! Hope you do too!
Keep up your beautiful work!
I love your website and am also trying to (re)learn the art of sketching, drawing and painting, at the ripe old age of 47. Unlike you, however, I haven’t been working as an artist in ANY way. In college I got bad grades in the required “beginning art” classes, and decided I just wasn’t meant to be an artist.
Yet over the years I kept getting involved with people – boyfriends and “just friends” – who were real, working artists. It was so interesting to watch them and I kept wishing I could do what they were doing. Yet I never had the courage to really try – till a couple of weeks ago when I gave myself a sketchbook as a birthday present, and just started drawing whenever I was at the P.O. or the coffee shop. And realized that all these years I’ve been depriving myself of a fun, relaxing experience!
To make a long comment even longer, I LOVE your blog, your drawings are fun to look at and you are inspiring me to continue doing what I’m doing – so thanks VERY MUCH!
Aunt Chrissy: What a wonderful comment! That’s terrific, that you’ve recently rediscovered the pleasure of sketching/drawing! Were you inspired by the illustrated blogs out there as I was? Oh, and I’m the same “ripe” age you are so, I guess we ‘dogs’ can learn new tricks after all. : ) Keep on enjoying your new-found pleasure!
PS. Like your blog, too. : )
Thanks for visiting my blog, Paula, and for your quick response!
Yes, the illustrated blogs are so inspiring and cheerful – yours and a few others are lighting up my mornings, which is nice considering that I’m reading them while at work!
Take care and keep blogging – you’re doing great so far!
I never want you to visit my blog ever.
I never want you to visit my blog ever.
i think that this is interesting infomation but would be good if you made a video like step by step and shoed us the different techniqueson how to draw. thanks
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